Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Why Guys Don’t Call You Back After The First Date

1. He Doesn't Like You, But Doesn’t Want To Hurt Your Feelings
Although this statement might upset many of your reading it, it’s the hard truth. Think of it this way, didn't you ever go on the first date and just didn't like the guy? Of course you did. Was it anything personally related to him, sure it was but it’s NOT him that made you decide not to date him again, it was you that decided this guy doesn’t fit within your ideal/somewhat ideal guy criteria.

That being said, if the guy you've been on a first date with didn’t call you back, you SHOULD NEVER take it personally. It’s not that he doesn’t like you per say, it’s that you’re not what he’s looking for right now. However, you can be sure that you’re EXACTLY what another guy is looking for, you just have to find him.
Now, our reader said that this happened on 3 occasions. If that’s the case then there could be other things involved that might need your attention. Constantly having guys not call you after a first date, is usually a good indicator that the issue lies within you.
Is it possible that you might come across as too eager? Usually if you seem too eager guys want to get out. Men think that you’re overly eager when you seem to communicate that you have some underlying issues (you’re not happy with your life, you don’t like being single, you’re depressed etc) and then talk about how you’re looking for a relationship, as if that would be able to fix your problems.

Guy don’t hate the idea of relationships. They just hate the idea of getting into a relationship with someone that will dump a bunch of problems on them. Men think that they already have enough of their own problems and instead of dealing with added stress (your problems) they might be better off alone.

This is also the same way you think. Because you want to be with a guy that will make you feel better, not worse.
I can imagine women don’t actually say these things out right, they don’t sit at a date and just go “My life is miserable, but I want to be in a relationship with you because I think that will make me feel better” but I might be wrong here…
Usually, it’s the guy that pieces these things together; he just wants to work out if dating you will be more of a liability than a good thing for him. That’s why he asks about your life, he gets a sense of how much you enjoy it and what you do in it and if you pretty much hate your life, then he’s surely going to avoid dating you because he doesn’t want to be the guy that always has to cheer you up.

If you feel like you’re falling in this category of “eager” women then the best thing you can do is to start working towards enjoying your life more. Only when you can enjoy your life so much that you’re perfectly content without a boyfriend, will you actually be really ready to have a boyfriend.

2. He Actually Does Like You, Would Take You Out On A Second Date, But Decided Not To Later
This might seem strange but it actually happens more often than the previous scenario. Not all men are players and not all men automatically assume that you’re into them. Yes, that is the correct course of action but most men aren’t aware of such mindsets. That’s why, if he was actually interested in you, genuinely wanted to see you again but never called back, it’s probably because he was weak and believed that you’re not into him.

Many guys are often so oblivious that it takes explosions for them to notice that you’re actually into them.
However, with age also comes experience and they usually start to understand the basics of seduction and often assume attraction. That being said, not all men come from a place of internal validation and they look to the woman for signs to see if she’s attracted. Meanwhile, if the woman is guarded, playing hard-to-get or just not a very expressive type of person, the guy will feel like “she’s not into him”.

Knowing this, let’s look at the things a woman might be doing, that would convince a guy that she’s not into him.
Texting/talking on the phone during the date (if she’s genuinely apologetic and something actually happened, that’s fine. Otherwise, big red flag)
Not smiling.

Not trying to engage the conversation. Not actively participating. Responding with minimal answers in an unexcited tone.
Showing disinterest in talking to him (Not showing interest) – not paying attention to the date, but rather on the room, waiters, checking your time etc.
If you’re doing any of those on your date, your guy is probably convinced that he’s boring you to death and sees no point in calling you again. You might think he had a good time, you might think the date went great, but from his point of view, it was a total failure.

Next time you go on a date, make sure you remember this article; things might take an unexpected turn.